a trial !

hie,,, hard isnt it., but yesterday neetika's talk really touched. why i shudnt be the first to go... thats wat u used to say rahul.
they wont listen to me once or twice but trial never fails in the end., so i will keep on trying.
i sent a sorry mail to both of them.. i mean allya n Yamini... hope they understand that the mail was my true emotion. keeping my finger crossed, want verything to get well soon !!!!!

hie... today neetika came to my home. i felt good.. but again when we went for a walk allya and Yamini...they two were talkng. for a moment i felt bad... i tried a lot to be normal. hell lot normal. but everytime i got the traces of time when Allya was with me n how she always bitched about Yamini..

she wasnt supposed to be with her... but why was she?
i loved her... n you know it rahul... do i nned to tell you how much true i was to her/? then why did she do that with meh?

i never wanted her to be away from my life?... i was sooo true to her. i just cant imagine that the girl i thought to be my best freind forever wud do sth like dat.

i mean i feel soo shame to dedicate her the song TRUE FRIEND... which u dedicated me..n i loved tat song from heart !she insulted it...

tell me how can i be normal.... when there is not a single drop of repentence in her eyes.. when her ego is at the peak...

u always told me to have patience... but tell me will it work in this case? ever !?

you know what these days i tried to be stronger......
isnt it amzaing eh?
i dont know how it feels,,, ... n i dont know wat is love ? may be an abstract noun as u said... i feel the fresh smell of morning drizzle everytme.. i see your writng..
i was soo tensed whni thought i dont have any of your pics... but now i have 1/4 of my comp filled wid ur pics....

missing you!!!!!

i dont know what i should but living without has been so difficult... n i dont know why things seem soo differnt?
i remmeber your last words.. take best decissions in life.... you know what i had been waiting for that day from soo long.... soo much to say... but again blnk in front of u..
verytime ... every exam it was just so wonderful seeing ur face filled with a smile for meh (may be)...
i think of you each moment.. you letters... n surely the wonderful mails..
all i wanna say is that why arent u here with me? everywhere i see you smiing n winking at me........

i m gonna miss u !!!!!!

living Without u wud be sooo different now...
i wont wait on the railings to see you climbing the staircase,...
i wont pretend to tlk to smdy to see you coming out f d class in break...
i wont be crossing the class hundreds of times to see u...
i wont be bunking my PE periods just to spnd time wid u....
......god everything's gonna change soo soon... just bcoz u wont b here any more !

a Friendd Disgraced!!!!

I am 16. My best friend ditched me last month by talking bad things about me to some other person. I loved and trusted her very much but now I don’t know what to do. I thought that friendship is all about forgiveness. I made up my mind and talked to her about it. We talked and I thought everything was settled. But it wasn’t. She never called me like earlier or talked to me like she used to. It was her fault, she accepted, but now there was no sign of repentance. She got a new friend about whom she always bitched to me. She ignores me as if I am wrong. I feel hurt to see her like that. I was very true to her and never thought bad for her. I supported her even when she was wrong. Because of her I lost my many great friends but I never complained.
I sometimes think that I should go to her but every time it’s always me who goes to her. She never even bothers to come to me first. Now I have started feeling that by going to her I spoil my self-respect. But I am alone left in parties and other places.
I don’t know what to do. Please help me.

help me out

Dear RD,
I am 16. My best friend ditched me last month by talking bad things about me to some other person. I loved and trusted her very much but now I don’t know what to do. I thought that friendship is all about forgiveness. I made up my mind and talked to her about it. We talked and I thought everything was settled. But it wasn’t. She never called me like earlier or talked to me like she used to. It was her fault, she accepted, but now there was no sign of repentance. She got a new friend about whom she always bitched to me. She ignores me as if I am wrong. I feel hurt to see her like that. I was very true to her and never thought bad for her. I supported her even when she was wrong. Because of her I lost my many great friends but I never complained.
I sometimes think that I should go to her but every time it’s always me who goes to her. She never even bothers to come to me first. Now I have started feeling that by going to her I spoil my self-respect. But I am alone left in parties and other places.
I don’t know what to do. Please help me.